Your hair, your eyes, your voice
by dark-spirited Bakura
Summary: Our favorite blonde bomber has ben feeling down lately. But why? Sasori tries to help him through, but Deidara might already be too far gone...  SasoxDei


**So this is one of my darker fanfictions; I wanted to try something new and I guess I'm pretty satisfied with how it turned out!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, the Akatsuki would all be alive and they would have taken over the world by now.  
>Summary: Our favorite blonde bomber has been feeling down lately. But why? Sasori tries to help him through, but Deidara might already be too far gone... SasoxDei<br>Warnings: There's no swearing, but it's a little too dark for younger audiences. **

**Please review telling me what you thought! Reviews = cookies. And who doesn't love cookies?**

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><p>"Deidara?"<p>

No response.

"Deidara."

Again no response. Sasori sighed, looking up from his puppet to the blonde. He'd been in a mood all day, not speaking to anyone and just staring through the window of their shared room. Something was wrong with him, and the redhead was determined to find out what.

"Something on your mind?" Sasori asked gruffly.

Deidara finally looked back at him, blinking as if coming out of a trance. He forced a smile. "It's nothing, Danna un," he said.

The puppeteer frowned. "Yeah right, it's nothing. You are _never_ this quiet for so long. So spill it."

Deidara's smile disappeared, replaced by a thoughtful look. It took the bomber a while to respond, and Sasori had already returned to fixing his puppet when he finally spoke.

"Do you ever wish you were free?" he asked softly.

Startled by the unexpected question, Sasori again turned to face his partner. "What do you mean? We are free," he said, looking at Deidara curiously. "It's not like we're being held hostage or anything."

He shook his head. "That's not what I meant un… Sometimes it feels like I'm trapped here, and I have this longing to be free." The blonde looked back out the window, watching two birds soar across the sky.

Sasori just stared, speechless. Deidara was the one who brought the light into gloomy conversations, and acted so much like a child. Deidara was the one who called him Danna, and the one he called brat. Deidara was the irritating, annoying blonde that the puppeteer had come to love. Deidara was not the thoughtful, wistful person Sasori saw now.

"How far would you go for freedom, Danna?" he almost whispered.

Setting down his tools, Sasori walked over to the brooding blonde – his blonde – and held him close, not fully aware of his own actions. Deidara sighed, relaxing into the redhead's embrace, still following the birds with a lidded blue eye.

"There's still people here who need you Dei," Sasori whispered into the mess of blonde hair.

Deidara gave a dry laugh. "Like who Danna?"

The puppeteer snorted. "I really wish you would stop calling me that," he said, turning Deidara's face until they were looking at each other. Sasori closed his eyes and brushed his lips softly over the other's. "And who do you think needs you here?" he whispered gently.

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><p>Deidara took in his Danna's face, realizing for the first time how beautiful Sasori really was. The pale skin against his brilliant red hair made it seem like fire sometimes, a startling contrast to those soft, deep brown pools that were his eyes. And his lips were smooth and sweet, meeting Deidara's own in a brief, exhilarating kiss.<p>

But even then, he couldn't take those two birds off his mind; flying, being free, being _alive_.

_I'll never have that,_ he realized sorrowfully. _I'm nothing but a bird trapped in a cage, being distracted from my one true desire by other things I want most dearly._

He sighed sadly, pulling away from his partner's grasp. Sasori looked confused and slightly hurt by his actions, and Deidara felt a small twinge of regret in the pit of his stomach for rejecting the redhead's kind gestures.

"I'm sorry Sasori, un," he said, brushing some of the puppeteer's bangs from his eyes. The hair was soft as silk under his fingers, despite its messy appearance. "I'm going to go for a walk, okay?"

Sasori nodded, looking a little lost. Deidara smiled softly, standing up from his seat at the window and walking towards the door. He looked back at the redhead, opening his mouth to speak. The words caught in his throat and he swallowed, continuing to exit the room. _I hope you know how much I love you._

Deidara grabbed his small pack sitting by the door and left the base without a word, ignoring all the looks that the other Akatsuki members cast his way. Breathing in the crisp, fresh air of the outdoors, he walked over to one of his favorite thinking spots: a huge oak tree a little past the hideout.

Jumping up into the tree, he climbed quickly to the highest branch he could, leaning back on the familiar wood and taking in the scent of spring.

He closed his eyes, focusing on the rhythm of his breath. In, and out. In, and out. In…

Chirping interrupted his state of concentration. He cracked his eye open slowly, looking at the perky bundle of feathers that had made the noise. It chirped happily again and ruffled its wings, tilting its head to the side.

"Stupid bird," Deidara muttered half-heartedly, shooing it away. Watching it spread its wings and take off, the only thing he could think was how much he envied it. It was free to do whatever it wanted, whenever it wanted, and wherever it wanted. Who cared that it was lower on the food chain? Who cared that its life was merely the flicker of a flame? It was _free._

Breath catching in his throat, Deidara looked at the small pack he'd brought with him. He'd been planning this for weeks, and somehow he knew it was the right thing to do.

"Danna," he whispered quietly, "please try to understand. Don't be angry, or sad. This is just something that I need to do."

Unzipping the pack, Deidara looked inside. There was a kunai knife stashed in there, but that was his plan B. He instead reached for the lump of clay, enough for his C2 dragon. Trembling slightly, he opened the mouth on his right palm and devoured the clay, chewing it up and giving it its explosive qualities.

Once it was ready, the hand spit it out and Deidara molded the clay into a dragon form, the familiar feel of the motions somewhat calming his raging emotions.

Looking up at his new creation, he couldn't help but feel that surge of pride that artists felt when admiring a new masterpiece. The dragon was now a towering beast, breathing smoke and pawing at the ground, snorting. It looked up at its master, prepared for battle.

"Sorry, but there's going to be a change of plans this time," Deidara said, putting a hand on the creature's snout. The dragon offered a confused look, tilting its head much the same way that bird had.

"It's okay, I just need to take care of something, un," he said, trying to sound soothing. The dragon lowered its head in acknowledgement. Giving a shaky sigh, he hopped onto the dragon's back. Commanding it to take off, a sudden rush of air blew his hair back, revealing both of his blue eyes.

The take-off always took Deidara's breath away, exhilarated at the feeling of the ground dropping away beneath him. Enjoying it for the last time, he gazed back at the Akatsuki base. He replayed that last moment he and Sasori had spent together over and over, some tears starting to force their way out of his eyes.

A few droplets on Deidara's head made him look up at the sky. _Rain? _He thought, dark clouds looming over him. He almost smiled. _Sasori hates rain. I never understood why though…_

Thinking of the redhead one last time, he let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. _Goodbye… Sasori._

And for a moment the world was silent, before being shaken by a life-ending explosion.

"Katsu."

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><p>The sound startled the rest of the Akatsuki members, but noticing the rain they thought it must have been thunder.<br>All except for one person.

Sasori burst out of his room, racing towards the other Akatsuki members. He grabbed the shirt of the closest person (which happened to be Kisame), and glared into his eyes.

"Where the hell is Deidara?" he growled, scaring the blue-skinned man out of his wits. Nobody had ever seen Sasori this livid with fury.

"H-h-he went outside," he said shakily, motioning towards the door. The redhead's heart sank with sudden realization.

"Oh no," he whispered, releasing Kisame. "No, no, no, no, no!" He ran out into the pouring rain, searching for any sign of the blonde. He didn't care that he was drenched. All he cared about was Deidara.

Growing desperate, he ran over to that old oak tree that the bomber was so fond of. There was some sort of pack hanging from one of the lower branches. Reaching out with a trembling hand, he grabbed it and looked inside, finding a carefully written note. Recognizing Deidara's handwriting immediately, Sasori quickly scanned the paper.

Dear Sasori no Danna,

I hope you're the one who found this. If you're reading this right now, it means that I'm already gone. I'm so sorry for leaving you but I couldn't stand the pain anymore. There are millions of things I wanted to tell you, and millions of things you should know. But they all lead back to one thing: I love you, Danna. And this love will be everlasting, just like I know you want it to be. I know how much you appreciate everlasting things, and this is the best I could do. I'm sorry I wasn't eternal myself, but I don't think I was meant to be. Art is fleeting, after all.

At this point, the tears were blurring Sasori's eyes, making it impossible for him to finish the letter.

"You're wrong, you stupid brat. Art is eternal," he sobbed, crushing the paper in his grip. He collapsed to the ground, gasping for breath between the sobs. It felt like someone had ripped his heart out violently, leaving a gaping black hole where it was supposed to be.

"You weren't supposed to die yet!" Sasori screamed into the ground, agony laced into the words. "Why? Why?"

He lay in that spot throughout the night, numb with pain, still holding on to that letter. Deidara's final words to him. He barely even noticed when Konan came searching for him, then dragging him back into the base and into his room.

Sasori felt so much like giving up. Then he heard four words loud and clear ring through his muddled thoughts.

"I love you Danna, un." Make that five.

He sighed. "I love you too, brat."

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><p><strong>Okay so it got a little confusing at the end, and I have no idea what I was thinking since this was written very late at night when I should have been sleeping. But I have to admit I don't think I'm ever going to go this dark again. It made me so depressed.<br>*bangs head against the wall*  
>Anyway please review telling me your thoughts on this! It helps me a lot with my writing! <strong>


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